DIY Brunch Pitchers, Little Havana Style

Ah, the first warm weekend of March. The tease of an upcoming Spring. Does anything make you want to start drinking early, more than that first Sunday when temperatures reach the 60s? Goodbye chores, hello impromptu Sunday Funday.

A trip to Target netted us the all-inclusive badminton set (netted us, get it?), and we found the Dollar Tree stocks plastic 2-liter pitchers. With friends on the way over, and the girlfriend cooking up some serious breakfast burritos (with shredded chicken AND dried chorizo, mind you), it was time for me to throw together enough Bloody Mary & mimosa action to get everyone good and toasted. Only then would be ready to step out back and challenge each other for the best shuttlecock joke.

Of course, the bottomless pitchers of Bloody Marys & mimosas at Little Havana brunches are a big draw - and rightfully so. $13.95 for a underwhelmingly sized plate of breakfast you'll have to wait forever to arrive isn't so bad, when you know A) it'll be tasty and more importantly B) the price includes drink-til-the-cows-come-home goodness. But sometimes we don't have the money, drive, or stomach to fight our way through the scores of yuppies in the popular Federal Hill establishment. Here's your DIY solution:

First off, make a bunch of ice. We're talking at least 6 trays' worth. Obtain 4 2-liter pitchers. It'll help if measurements are listed along the pitcher's side.
Also purchase and chill the following:
3 bottles of champagne/sparkling wine, 750mL - cheap is good, I like Andre Spumante ($5.99 ea)
750mL bottle of vodka - feel free to roll with rail. My buddy brought over Kamchatka, which did the job.
3 bottles of Mr. & Mrs. T Bloody Mary mix, 33.8 fl. oz. - I prefer the Bold & Spicy variety ($3.99 ea). Tip: if you choose a different brand, don't go with Major Peters. Funny name yes, but horrible taste.
2 1/2 gallons of orange juice - again, go cheap, just make sure to get pulpless (approx $1.99 ea)
Hopefully you already have pepper, Old Bay, and some form of Worcestershire sauce (I use Lea & Perrins). If not, grab 'em. If you're the type who likes a celery garnish, slice some up too.

The mimosas are simple as can be. Toss one liter of champagne and one liter of orange juice in each of the first two pitchers. You should have enough left over for a bonus pint or so.

The Bloody Marys are a little more of a science. Exact proportions will vary by taste. As for me, I like 'em spicy. Each of my pitchers came to 1 1/4 liters Bloody Mary mix, about 2/3 liter vodka, a teaspoon of Worcestershire, a sprinkle of pepper, and at least a teaspoon of Old Bay. These suckers had kick. I'd love to be more specific with my proportions, but I was winging it. There were a few mimosas under my belt by that point, as well.

Here's something you can do to ensure that your brunch booze will stay tastier than that of Little Havana: keep all that ice separate. While they put it directly in the pitchers, you should be scooping it out into your guests' glasses as needed. This keeps your pitchers from getting watered down and severely less delicious.

4 pitchers should take care of a good crowd (say 6-8), assuming that everyone doesn't go for your mimosas and disregard their tomato-based brunch brother-in-arms. Cheers.

Emerald Tavern, 2/07/09

Thanks to John Waters' A Dirty Shame, we all know how sex-crazed and elaborately perverse the residents of Northeast Baltimore can be. In the 2004 film, Chris Isaak's character's take on his neighborhood's depravity and fetishistic inclinations is simply "Welcome to the Harford Road area." It's along this thoroughfare that Parkville and Hamilton got to play setting and supporting character in what some worry may be the last film shot in Baltimore by her favorite son.

Recently, I set out to discover where Shame's subject matter drinks, because Parkside and Hamilton Tavern it ain't. These newer joints, while not without their charm, are evidence of Brewers Art extending its reach from downtown (both are co-owned by B.A. alums). Not coincidentally, that's the same place much of their yuppie and hipster clientele appears to be coming from. Pray tell, good sir, where are the locals? The area's true-blue indigenous folk are apparently imbibing elsewhere along Harford Road. But where in particular?

For starters, I'm sure a decent crowd was forming at Racers (7732 Harford Rd., [410] 665-6000). Already being hip to the place, I opted to forego free peanuts and the chance to see which soccer jersey Skip the bartender was wearing tonight. I wanted something new, so my first stop was the Emerald Tavern (8300 Harford Rd., [410] 661-2299).

Should've gone to Racers. The Emerald Tavern, turns out, is another indistinctive Irish-for-the-sake-of-it bars, with $5 Guinnesses that taste a bit off (keg change, please) and little else to indicate consistency with the name of the joint – the walls may be painted green, but they house Ravens memorabilia and flatscreens showing college basketball. Strangely, the four flatscreen tvs were outnumbered by five outdated standard sets, hanging silent and black around the bar. I supposed they'll remain for a while longer, if the Christmas garland still on display is any indication.

Three bartenders were working a slow Saturday night; luckily this staffing oversight made it easy to avoid the rude male bartender, who displayed zero desire to fetch anyone an overpriced $2.25 bottle of Boh. The ladies were nice enough, even when I became the weird guy who asks for an itemized receipt at the bar. Rail drinks ran a decent price at $3.50, and the place offers $1.50 pints of PBR, so some bargains exist.

The clientele did seem to be comprised of those locals I was in search of – but then again, the unremarkable Emerald Tavern doesn't offer a reason for which someone might go out of their way. The big highlight occurred when a patron asked me about our vicinity to "titty bars." John Waters was onto something.

A letdown like this only ups the stakes for the next barhopping destination. It was time to suck it up; the next stop would be Harford Road's infamously intimidating biker bar. Drop by later in the week to read about my experience infiltrating the Holiday House (6427 Harford Rd., [410] 426-6794).

Annabel Lee

After sushi, we drove down Eastern Avenue from Fells to arrive in Canton. Our goal was to investigate Annabel Lee (601 S Clinton St), a new tavern and brainchild of a former Brewer's Art GM. The place is pleasantly removed from O'Donnell Square, and subsequently doesn't reek of pretension and self-assured sophistication. Instead, the Annabel Lee remained understated and easygoing, even on a Saturday night. We shared the former row home's first floor with few other patrons, a fact that helped us feel like we were in on a little secret, or at least that we were in an honest-to-goodness neighborhood joint.

The tavern's Poe theme may be cranked up a bit much, with a portrait of the author on display along with the back wall's huge, scrawling lines of the poem for which the bar takes its namesake. It certainly doesn't seem dark enough indoors to be Poe-esque, but at least the widescreen television over the bar wasn't turned on. The large mirror behind the bar and ornately framed specials board add nice touches but don't do enough to save the rest of the tavern's lacking decor (and horrendous curtains).

The drink prices were average for the most part, but the house drink was a steal. A variation of a Manhattan, our bartender combined Bourbon with Madeira wine rather than Vermouth, creating a delicious concoction in my martini glass. The best part? It cost less than the modest amount of Bailey's I had in an old-fashioned glass just minutes before. The staff was equally as pleasing, explaining the beer selection and recommending drinks while still laying back and not becoming nuisances.

UPDATE: 5/12/08 - we returned to Annabel Lee four Saturdays later to find the tavern standing room only. Looks like that "little secret" we felt in on last month has gotten out...

Ra Sushi

Saturday night (4/19/08) led us to Ra Sushi (1390 Lancaster St), a newish and striving-to-be impossibly hip restaurant in Harbor East. Ra is on the other side of Pazo and offers valet parking at a hefty $7. Skip it; we were able to park two blocks down Lancaster with no problem, parting only with a bit of change at the aggravating pay-to-park machine.

The restaurant seemed crammed to capacity, but we were able to be seated immediately at the sushi bar. Bless all those other folks who, for some reason, would rather stare at each other masticate than have a bird's eye view of a chef preparing their meal.

Ra's staff, decor, and blush-inducing drink names (Me Love U Long Time, Effen Around in the Ra) all tip their hat at aiming for a young, Hills-watching and South Moon Under-shopping sort. Relax your facial muscles beforehand for maximum grimacing and wincing at "oh baby I like it Ra" styled puns. The atmosphere, however, comes away clean. Black and deep red permeate the entirety of the establishment in such a way as to make you feel a bit more separated from the other gourmandizers. You'll find yourself a bit more secure about your hair, and a bit more likely to get cozy with a date. Lighting (in the form of deep red balls that hang from the ceiling) sinks into bamboo and reed, lending the sushi almost aphrodisiac qualities.

Not that it really needs the help. The unfortunately named Crazy Monkey Roll ($9.50) is simply incredible. The common combination of salmon and cream cheese is given a facelift with bits of mango inside the roll, and more mango sauce on top for good measure. Avocado and flakes of red tempura on top lend fabulous color and texture to this must-have. Also quite good is the Viva Las Vegas Roll ($11.25), which introduces sliced lotus root and an uber-fresh spicy tuna topping to the old standards, imitation crab and cream cheese. Tunacado ($10.25), a plate of sliced avocado and seared strips of blackened tuna, doesn't provide much to munch. It would better serve as an appetizer; the sweet zing of its accompanying Ponzu dipping sauce only left us wanting more.

Drink prices ranged from average to a bit steep. Ra offers wine, champagne, several types of sake, and a list of specialty house drinks in addition to their behind-the-bar regular lineup. The only standout we sampled was the unique Cucumber Martini, a blend of vodka, sake, and lychee syrup, garnished with a slice of cucumber floating in your glass. Many other drinks come with extremely sticky sugar on the rim that becomes much of a nuisance.

With tip, we dropped $80 on food and drinks for two.